Marshall, Glenn, Richard G., Carl--
Thank you all so much for reading and responding to this experiment! I'm so glad to learn the places where you got confused or wondered about the meter. Now I know what I need to fix.
As for the meter, you wouldn't think it would be that hard--four strong beats per line--but, as a couple of you noted, I don't always get it right. (Marshall, it's not intentional! and do feel free to point out specific places where I goofed.) ( Carl, three unstressed syllables between two stressed ones is permitted. Interesting to me--and possibly to others--I've read in two reliable sources that native English speakers feel uncomfortable with more than three unstressed syllables between the stressed ones, so this principle is true for prose, as well.)
Dana Gioia has an excellent article on accentual meter here:
http://danagioia.com/essays/writing-...centual-verse/
"Tom Linne" is all the man she loves" would certainly be better as "Tom Linne is the only man she loves."
Richard, thanks for your suggestions for re-arranging the stanzas. I will definitely try this.
Carl, are you able to point to language in the poem that made you think Janet was keeping Tom a prisoner? Or was it something missing that made you think that way?
Did anyone pick up on the "beast in the man" idea (which is not in the original ballad)? If so, what did you think of it?
This experiment was tricky to do (though lots of fun) in part because, as you all probably know, ballads work primarily by the technique of "montage"--that is, they show scenes or dialogue, leaving out all the connecting narrative. It's often hard to figure out who's talking, and when. With the 43 stanzas of the original, I didn't always know what was going on! I might be working "in the tradition" to similarly confuse my readers--but I'd rather not do that. So thanks for letting my know about the places that you found confusing.
I'm pleased to find some other lovers of ballads here. Glenn--I'm so glad you found this an enjoyable read…must ballads be a "guilty pleasure," though…?
Thanks to all--Barbara