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Unread 10-27-2024, 02:37 PM
Nick McRae Nick McRae is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Slater View Post
I'm not sure I know how to criticize this, so I'll just do a fly-by to say I think this is excellent. It's elusive, but the voice has authority and the mood it evokes is both familiar and hard to pin down.
I agree with this, although I wonder if the close could be a little stronger. Particularly this line:

this morning’s mark on the Hunt-Lenox Globe.

IMO, Hic Sunt Dracones is enough of a hint, while the close feels like it's trying too hard to make the theme clear. I'd prefer something slightly more ambiguous and vibrant in this spot.
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