Hi Richard,
Seeing it laid out as one, I think I do like it better as a prose poem.
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Originally Posted by Richard G
Anyway, what makes the water look (smell) old? Maybe show us that.
Ponds are standing water, so the water has to be 'old', especially during a drought.
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I don't dispute this. Though old didn't seem to be adding much when I first read it. As you say, pond water is always old in some sense. However, rereading, I can see that "old" might be doing other work, and also be a reference to what happened in the past. That the pond is stuck in the past, the time of drowning, the water maybe even unchanged since then, and if that's what you're after, I can see that this would be lost if you changed it for "algaed" water, say, even if that did convey a stronger image.
I guess I still find "old" a little bland as a descriptor. You could maybe try personifying the water, for example, and have the water be "brooding", say if that doesn't seem too melodramatic. Maybe there's even another way to convey age without using "old". Maybe not.
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I know prose poems can look odd a computer screen,
Yes, I think it's this that bothers me.
Personally, I just my browser window when reading them here
I feel like I'm missing something here. Is there an omission after just? Or is it a contraction?
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It was the word "resize". I think I must have edited it in while you were in the process of replying.
One thing I've done in the past is take a screenshot of a prose poem in Word and posted that instead. That way it appears in exactly the form that you want it to. It's a bit of faff though. You need to upload the image to a image hosting site as you can't directly insert it into your post (I used imgbb.com) , then you use the "insert image" button (the one that looks oddly like an envelop), and stick URL in that. And when you revise, obviously, you need to generate a new image.
Matt