David, I also see little self-indulgence. Writing a poem about losing someone is a classic theme.
You’ve received some good notes. The only one I have, and it may have been suggested earlier, is that calling the weekend “melancholy” is classic tell instead of show. That’s often a weak suggestion but in this instance it is a good one. “Melancholy” isn’t necessary. The poem is melancholy.
It may be inevitable that framing a poem about losing someone to death with a pop song will create a pop song-like poem. There is nothing wrong with that. It seems to fit the past relationship well.
I hope this helps.
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