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Hi Nemo.
Thank you for the kind words. Very please you enjoyed it.
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Hi Jim,
I am going to give this credit for having a lot of thinking and good writing within,
Thank you.
but
Uh-oh
also a demerit or two for making fun of working people, drunks, and old codgers.
Zounds! That's my father you're talking about, sirrah.
I think it would appeal to more readers if it good naturedly teased its inhabitants rather than dismissing them and their values.
I thought this was good natured teasing. What am I missing?
As a slightly more specific nit, I think the "squirrel" motif following the earlier reference to "nuthouse" is all right in concept but not quite as successfully carried out as you want it to be.
Any thought/suggestions to improve it?
Don't be disappointed by your lack of responses to date.
Stiff upper lip and all that.
Things here slow down in December, many spherians ignore light verse or tend to denounce it, and many also ignore long poems.
Understood. Thanks.
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Hi Hilary.
I'll be honest and admit I have no idea what this poem is about.
It turns out there are people who put out feeders containing nuts/seeds for the birds, only to discover that most of their largesse will be stolen by squirrels. A certain (shall we say small?) class of those people then take this as a personal challenge and go to ever greater lengths to squirrel-proof their feeders - there's quite an industrial complex that supports their endeavours - only to be met, inevitably, with failure. One such was my father. His constant battles (by which I mean failures) with the grey menace were a source of much amusement within the family. And quite possibly beyond (he swore they were laughing at him.)
That may be entirely on me, since others seem to understand it.
Perhaps the war has touched them in some way?
I do have a grammatical nit, though - the line "Their Romes have burned, their Troys all fell" sounds wrong to me. Would it be a problem to say "Their Romes have burned, their Troys have fallen," or something similar that keeps everything in the same tense?
Problem? Not in the slightest.
Will ponder. Thanks.
Thanks all.
RG.
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