I think you need the second stanza, Jim, but I also think it needs to be rewritten. You are, it seems to me, using a childlike voice there, which makes sense because the N is remembering childhood - except that the N is now an adult with an adult perspective on his childhood, as he has an adult perspective on the pageant. I think we need to hear more of the adult voice in S2. Which doesn't mean it needs to be darker or more cynical, just more ... aware, perhaps?
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