Thread: sonnet
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Unread 12-26-2024, 06:41 AM
Jayne Osborn's Avatar
Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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Hi Mary,
This is sad, but very lovely.
With a few others' confusion at the start, I think it would be clearer that L2 is still talking about the tune, with something along these lines:

The tune I grew to know became my voice,
the one that made me grow, and grow alone.


After the N having already explained about growing her voice, I'd prefer to see the "grew" in L7 as "knew":

>>>>>>>>>>>>I hear them call
and harmonize, as if they also knew
my sound. I listen to their final fall,

Just suggestions, for what they're worth. Your work is always excellent to begin with!

Jayne
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