Mary, the changed punctuation does clarify your intention in those lines, but now I am not sure about "I grew alone." Is the N really alone if she is in the company of these women who are harmonizing together? I suppose she is alone in some sense - we are all ultimately alone, aren't we? - but it still gives me pause.
Also, now that it reads "Virginia's suicide, and Charlotte's too," it would make more sense grammatically (I think) to say "then Sylvia's and Anne's."
|