Thread: sonnet
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Unread 12-30-2024, 02:43 PM
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Tony Barnstone Tony Barnstone is offline
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Hello Mary, I think that it is a strong sonnet. My main concern, coming late to the conversation, and hopefully not repeating what others have said earlier in the thread – is that the running musical metaphor gets dropped in the final few lines with net and shore and the final couplet about the sister. Thus, the move to the personal, which is meant to be emotional and a resolution to what went before, works on the human level, but less on the figurative level. I don’t have a specific phraseology to suggest, but thought I would flag that as something to consider in your future revisions. All best, Tony.
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