That solution works well.
I wonder if you might replace "gentle" with "soothing" or some other adjective that is more specifically associated with a "balm"? As you now have it, the word "balm" made me pause to wonder what exactly you meant, and I think calling it "soothing" would have made the simile clearer for me.
PS--
And one other suggestion occurs to me to take or leave. For me the syntax would be a bit more appealing if you reversed L7-8:
.........................Who can now remember,
seeing our lively chat and smiling faces,
we're picnicking in volatile November?
.........
................
Last edited by Roger Slater; 12-30-2024 at 07:02 PM.
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