Roger, at first I resisted changing the rhyme scheme of the octave, but I eventually came around to your suggestion for reordering L7-8. I did not think the breezes soothed anyone, but they were light enough to be pleasant without blowing things around.
Julie, you and Roger convinced me on re-ordering the lines, though I was sorry to lose my modified Petrarchan rhyme scheme. My family is not Hispanic, and I would not want to suggest that it is by using the Spanish name of the day. This celebration of life was different from how my family usually deals with a death. I wanted to suggest an openness to other traditions, but without appropriating traditions of another culture. I meant the somber title to link to the closing word, and I think it does that best in English.
Susan
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