Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Mullin
Hi Nick,
I like this a lot. The lack of punctuation--mostly periods at the end of what seem complete sentences, as there are commas--doesn't impede the flow. In fact, it enhances the flow of images, which is pretty much the engine of the poem.
I like the burning lawn line as well. And the shovel twisting in the winter thaw especially
One minor hitch is "they'll", S2L2, which refers to the children. The subject of the "sentence" is the maple tree. This hitch is more pronounced because of the stanza break, I think. But it's not a big problem given the flow thing going on.
Rick
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I appreciate the comments. I hadn't heard '
engine of the poem' used before, so thanks for that.
And I guess I'll typically use punctuation for that purpose, pacing the poem. In the one I posted last week I hoped to slow the reader down, in this one I like it a little more free-flowing. In general I don't like periods unless I'm trying to force a pause, otherwise they just feel too restrictive / pointless. I realize fully that I sound like a pedant.
Thanks again
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Riley
Not much more for me to say that hasn’t been said. I’m proud my poem was an inspiration.
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Thanks again, I really enjoyed that one.