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Unread 01-03-2025, 05:42 AM
Nick McRae Nick McRae is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Wood View Post
Hi Nick,
Just to clarify, my suggestion was to cut L11-12. This avoids the repetition of 'shadows' and the familiar phrase 'shadows dancing'.

Phil
Thanks for coming back to this. I see what you mean, it does read a little more cleanly without the final two lines. I do find the content of them integral to the poem, but I wonder if there's anything I can do there.

Thanks again
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