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Unread 01-18-2025, 09:43 AM
David Callin David Callin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan McLean View Post
What I am trying to suggest is that the silence and control of her life on the surface gave no hint of the passionate emotion that came out in the music she played. Nothing else gave away anything of what might be going on beneath the surface. So, yes, I was moved by the music, but also astonished that my mother had that hidden beneath her surface.
Susan, first of all, I like the poem, but I'm not getting much sense of a turn in the sonnet either. All of the things you describe about your mother seem parts of a life well lived. There is a sense of deepening, when you turn to the music, but it doesn't come as a surprise to me - there's no "Well, I would never have expected that" moment which, perhaps, you are hoping for.

It's a lovely tribute to your mother. Would it work better in a form in which your readers are not looking for a turn as such?

I only wonder.

Cheers

David
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