Thread: The Package
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Unread 01-21-2025, 07:53 AM
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Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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Oo-er, Richard, this is lovely and creepy; I use the oxymoron deliberately, as it's a menacing prospect that you've conjured up here, but I really enjoyed reading it.
It could have been written by Stephen King!

I like Jim's setting out of it, with the indentation between each of the speakers. It's easier on the eye.

I think "...through physically interaction" ought to be "through physical interaction", and I was going to point out that "mid sized" is a compound adjective, but I see that Jim has already inserted a hyphen: mid-sized.

This belongs in a collection of short stories, so I would imagine you'll have no problem in finding a publisher. I do hope so. I think it's quite brilliant!

Jayne
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