Thread: The Package
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Unread 01-21-2025, 11:38 AM
Jim Ramsey Jim Ramsey is offline
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Location: Greensboro, NC
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Hi Richard,

I'll have you know that my first comment was the most painstaking I've ever made here without a single nit, bit of praise or bombast involved. I'm glad you liked it. I hope it goes without saying that my interest meant I liked this from the first. I do have a couple of things to add to Jayne's nits. One, I would fix the em dashes. Two, what about “DEE…liv…errh…ree... DEE…cline…’d.” or some other way of saying it. I read "err" as in "to err is human..." and the "D" used for the clipped "duh" ending of declined seems off.

Jim
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