I like the revision.
As I'm reading it, the speaker is a child on a school trip to the library, discovering the intimate wonders of literature and art in the form of a book on birds and an interesting librarian (I love "quiet and momentary herself") - it's all mingled together, the librarian, the pictures, the child's aloneness, as these things are. I don't know if I completely understand the last line, but it has resonance and possibility. It's a good kind of "not understanding", rather than just confusion.
Personally I would move "that" to the following line, like this:
"That’s when the old disturbance began,
that unsorted impossible trinity:"
But you certainly don't have to - it's just a very minor suggestion.
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