It's early and probably I need more time to soak this in, John, but there seems to be a strong sense of discontent lurking in the poem. Like the water under the mist, the brown in the leaves. As far as I can tell (for now at least), it is not directly addressed—as often discontentment isn’t, and perhaps why Skylark’s parents didn’t realize how nice life could be without her until she went away. (I haven’t read the book, but found a brief summary.) Maybe there’s something about the avoidance of uncomfortable truths going on in the poem? Anyway, my only nits are pretty minor. “shatter” and “congealed blood” seemed to be too loud for this poem. But, again, it’s early, and I could very well change my mind. I like the poem.
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