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Unread 02-01-2025, 07:11 AM
Richard G Richard G is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2024
Location: North of the River
Posts: 236
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Hi Jim,

S3/L4-S4/L1 - repetition of 'then'.

I mean it to come across comically.

I don't think it does in this particular instance.

She always tries to stretch her territory
...
"Just one more," I yawn. The same old story.
(widely/tiredly)


"I pull it past my hand and down the wrist,"
The first part of this made me think you were removing it (having put it on.)

My intent is to convey that her "tale", her "pain" are behind her
Then might 'cannot' be changed to 'forgot'?

RG.
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