Thread: The Other Woman
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  #39  
Unread 02-01-2025, 12:25 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
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In the last few lines, you give up the "we are three" trope and say I'm down and like a bitch. I think you might try to stay with the trope a bit more. An example of what I mean follows. I've also tried to get rid of "really", which seems like filler. Of course, this is just by way of example and is probably not polished enough to use without tinkering:

..............................................I dread
the odd times that I'm sidelined by that bitch,
but then he tells a joke and makes me laugh.
We’re two once more – and he’s my better half.
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