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Originally Posted by Ashley Bowen
This one is not working, and I thank you for helping me see the areas where it's especially falling apart.
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Woah! Not so fast! I like this very much and think it's written deftly, with a nod to the plain-spoken spiritual element that kept the black oppressed pacified.
But the sestet busts free of that and the enjambments in it are wonderfully imagined. And the final two lines are spot-on dirt-poor humble. Great poem. Fix whatever needs fixing, but don't lose the voice. Lose the epigraph for reasons Matt gives, and possibly change the title to include the devil.
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