Hi, Ashley—
I very much like this poem. I particularly like how you begin it as a prayer and end it as a debate between Robert Johnson and God in which Johnson defends his Faustian bargain. I also like how you frame the whole dramatic monologue in the unlikely form of a sonnet.
In line 2, I wondered if the personification of the ribs didn’t make it sound as though the ribs were catching their breath(s). How about something like this?
so cramped my ribs could never hold my breath
I also like the humorous personification of Eternity as a wide-hipped woman sharing a coffin with the N. His obedience to God would offer him the reward of a woman, but being confined with her in the coffin prevents him from being able to enjoy Eternity.
I assumed that the heavy sin he refers to is his bargain with the Devil.
I agree with Matt and Jim that the epigraph should go, but I like the new title.
Very enjoyable poem.
Glenn
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