Hello, Julie,
I like how this unfolds—your wit and control over the form make for a sharp and engaging piece. Most of your revisions are effective, but while I agree that Waco might be too risqué, the new ending feels a bit toothless in comparison. The original had a cutting finality that really landed, and I think you can retain that impact while keeping the "kill your darlings" trope.
Here’s a possibility that might work:
Self-as-Muse? Mere superstition!
Kill your darlings, like tactician
Brutus stabbed cold, with ambition.
What amuses, deaccession—
poets please no more.
This keeps the **dramatic force of the original** but swaps in a **literary betrayal** instead of a real-world event, making it just as impactful but more fitting in context.
Good luck with this!
Cheers,
...Alex