Hey Nick,
I found there was too much straining for emotion here, with sorrow-filled eyes, longing, he fades and love contained. I think it's best to try to get those feelings across in a subtler way. A focus on the mountain might be necessary, with only some ocasional references to the story associated with it
(relatively fragmented and obscurely described to give some intrigue/interest).
I like "husked" without knowing exactly what you mean; interesting choice.
I also liked the mandolin and painting references, but I'd like to see them explored. Who played teh mandolin? What did it sound like? Same for the painter(s). There's scope for a lot more detail, a much longer and more involving poem. It feels to me like you've just glanced off the surface here and given details that feel relatively generic, whereas more specific/personal details could really make this poem, the mountain itself, come alive and make the reader imagine he/she is there, loving it, getting carried away.
All the best,
Trevor
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