Hi, Jim,
I like this a lot, how it does so much with so little.
If this were mine, I'd drop the title and title it "A Thought Slips Past," making the title an active one in the poem. My thought behind this is that, doing so, makes the one rhyme in the poem less obvious (or it does to my ear). The only other thought I have is to put a dash after L4, giving a little more pause for those incredible last two lines.
Thanks for posting.
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