Thread: New Year
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Unread 02-14-2025, 04:14 PM
Hilary Biehl Hilary Biehl is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2024
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I love it, Susan. Very relatable. The opening line seems perfect to me. It is spare yet striking and unsettling. I love "seamless life" too.

The only line that doesn't quite work for me is "and I'm more rattled than I've been / in decades". I've been trying to pinpoint what feels off about it to me. It's not the play on rattlesnakes that bothers me. Maybe it's because it's sandwiched between two powerful images - the flaying and blistering on the one side, the oozing wound on the other - and somehow being "more rattled" doesn't quite stand up to them? I'm not sure. It's an excellent poem, regardless.
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