Thank you, everyone, for looking in, commenting and suggesting! I thought Valentine's day was just right for posting this! While I was leaning for a lush performance, clearly, the qualifiers seized the day ... as primarily noted in the commentary. Anyhow, a revision has been posted! And with that--
- Glenn, it's great you dived in first. Thanks for all the time you took to read this in-depth, and especially, for the detailed commentary and attempts to sweep away the excess of qualifiers. Your critical attention is very much appreciated!
- Sam, thanks for looking in. True, dropping lines down by a beat is a popular means of tightening and trimming, as you've well noted. The Ciardi quote is entertaining and fitting!
- Julie, thanks for that in-depth syntactical and grammar critique, along with effective punctuation and diction ... a good and effective reminder!
- Rick, thanks for the analysis. Hopefully, the revision feels a little less, ahem, Georgian now!
- Nick, thanks for weighing in. And the new version should be not so overly romantic!
Again, I really appreciate everyone’s insights. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the new version!
Cheers,
...Alex
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