Hi Jim,
I wonder if 'Joe Schmoe' might be better than Plebe (it's certainly more arresting.)
S1/L4, not convinced by 'guile' (perhaps simply 'self'?)
S2/L4, any way to avoid another 'I've'?
I’ve felt the great ungrateful weight of me
and shrugged and changed the channel on TV.
S3/L2, I'm with Glenn in terms of questioning 'heretic'.
S4, any way to switch these sentences round. Asking for courage seems the stronger sentiment (and plus weakens that, for me.)
RG.
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