Hello, Richard,
I’m surprised this hasn’t gotten more attention—it deserves some! (The "4/4" tag suggests this is part of a series—so I must have missed parts 1 through 3.) What you’ve done here is a clever reimagining of
The Owl and the Pussy-Cat, capturing Lear’s whimsical tone while adding your own darker, mythic touch. The
Krakkling is an imaginative creation, and I love how its grand, ominous entrance gives way to unexpected politeness and wisdom. That contrast works well.
Your language and sonic textures are particularly effective. Lines like
"A creature of cuttle, of coral and mud, / a torment of shanty, of shell" and
"luciferous scales and Hadean blood" are vivid. The alliteration in
"the lapping lagoon it lip-lapped and lipped" is delightfully Lear-esque, and the chant-like repetition in the
Wisdom of Bears section makes that passage resonant.
A couple of areas for potential refinement:
- The transition between stanzas 9 and 10 feels abrupt. The Krakkling’s arc could connect more smoothly to the wisdom it imparts—perhaps a hint earlier that it’s on some sort of journey?
- The ending feels a touch too sudden. Since the Krakkling delivers wisdom, we might expect some reaction or resolution before closing out. Would a brief nod to the Owl & Pussycat’s response reinforce the poem’s circular, fable-like nature?
I hope something here proves useful, Richard. Good luck with it!
Cheers,
...Alex