Hi, Jan!
This is a beautifully detailed sketch. I salute you.
Two pedantic nits:
1) In L2, since the plural noun "gulls" is the object of the preposition "of," it cannot also be the subject of "scream." The subject is actually the singular noun "wheel." Which means that the verb should be "screams," not "scream."
2) The many breathless series of commas are very confusing at times. Better to have a bunch of period-punctuated fragments than so many comma splices that leave the reader thinking, "Wait, what's going on grammatically?" instead of the reaction it deserves: "Wow, I feel like I'm there!"
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