[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Alex—

My reading of this piece is that the N is engaged in pushing himself on an exercise machine until he feels himself become one with the mechanical device. I am not entirely confident with this interpretation because “gaslight” implies a Victorian setting. Perhaps the N is a laborer in a factory 130 years ago who, overcome by his aching muscles, boredom, and the heat, imagines himself merging with the machinery. “Gaslight” can also mean “to manipulate a person into doubting his or her sanity.” Perhaps the N is hallucinating, imagining that the iron in his blood is turning him into a robotic worker.

I like the terza rima-ish structure, which evokes Dante’s Inferno and suggests hellish punishment.

I think that a clear, strongly marked trimeter beat would enhance the mechanical imagery. Here are a few suggestions:

S1L1: The maCHINE URges Me > The ENgine URges ME

“Flooding” and “mob” are working at crossed purposes. Is the sweat a flood of liquid or a crowd of personified droplets? How about:
S2L1: FLOODing SALT DROPlets MOB > SALty DROPlets MOB

S2L2: Over the MUScled CRAZE > the ACHing MUScles’ CRAZE

S2L3: GRIPPED in a WILLful THROB > GRIPPED by WILLful THROB

Hope this is helpful. I enjoyed your poem.

Glenn