Hey John,
Would you consider an experiment here: generally reversing the order of lines? I think it would lead to a more intriguing piece. I'll give an idea below, and see what you think. It may not suit what you want for the poem.
All the best,
Trev
To hear a short sermon made faint by a slight grief. [bold = delete]
A few silent people waited in the small church.
Too fresh to say goodbye to, this house,
that doesn’t fit the neighborhood,
I have to turn around and drive...
...The little street was called Sycamore.
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