Thread: We meet at 12
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Unread 03-10-2025, 02:41 PM
Erik Olson Erik Olson is offline
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Location: Portland, OR
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Jan,

I love this! Every word holds its weight. The repetend reinforces the impression of time's inevitable appointment ahead. The speaker aptly uses the raincoat as a stand-in for his self.
The raincoat holds the shape of me
so can’t it go instead?
It holds the emptiness you see
that’s in my hands and head.
Drizabone is a juicy word; it sounds like dry as a bone. I don't mind one exotic word in the poem (at least it is to me), especially when the rest of the diction is rather simple, in a good way. These are just my initial thoughts.

Best,
Erik
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