Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard G
.
In the park a pond
Behind a chain-link fence and gate we never once saw open, a songless autumn of grey leaf-light and old water. Even in summer. Even in that summer when whole fields died for want and the earth cracked like a scab. Even then it was autumn, damp and deep enough to drown a child.
.
|
[quote=Richard G;502317]
.
Hi Richard, Just a quick take. I like it both ways, as a prose poem, or in stanzas. I always wonder if stanzas aren't more publishable, but then who am I to know except from what I see published. I like the conceit of summer being autumn. Autumn, in the sense of early drops of leaves and plants entering dormancy, does actually come early sometimes. I do get a little confused or feel like I am having to make a stretch when the poem seems to be saying that autumn was present in summer because of dry conditions and then at the same time talks of autumn being "damp and deep enough..." Seems to me a "though" is missing as in "[though] still damp and deep enough to drown a child."
Jim R.