I was reading through Fussell's Poetic Meter & Poetic Form recently, and was reminded (again) of a critical aspect of any resonant poem - either emotional or intellectual pull.
Language (and your language is reasonably strong here) isn't enough, there has to be a reason for a reader to care about what they're reading. In this case it sounds like that's what you're shooting for, but I just didn't find the theme compelling enough to get my heart rate up. If the poem were quite a bit shorter that might not necessarily be a problem, but with such length the poem drags a bit.
I wouldn't fret, though, finding something worthwhile to say may be hardest part of poetry because you can't really control the strike of inspiration. I'd just bear in mind that it's an important (the most important?) part of writing something that resonates.
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