[Yves S L]

Jan,

I delete posts when posting makes it clear that my comments would be too much of a downer. It is often best to leave the threads to folk who appreciate what a poet is trying to do, and perhaps not too negatively colour further comments.

But if you want a comment: Given the definition of "commodity", the fourth line comes across as rhyme-driven filler, and the last three lines are drastically better than the rest of the poem. I also thought the first line was a catastrophe with its awkward syntax and personification, but others have now said so much more gently.

Yeah.