Hi Glenn,
No problem at all. Brandishing and wielding are pretty much equally suitable, in my opinion. While brandishing might fit better rhythmically in that line, the word wielding has a more curt quality that fits better in another way.
To me, it seemed like the speaker of the poem felt wounded in the first stanza rather than thankful. I don't think that's any harm, as you could then create a good sense of development in the thoughts/emotions of the speaker. As it is, I think it's much too short to get across what you're trying to convey based on your explanation. I think you should write a lot more and see if anything interesting comes of it that you can use. Give us different stanzas reflecting the varied emotions that come from a break-up: nostalgia, sadness, fear, relief, hope(?) (this could be hope of meeting the person again or hope of meeting someone new, for example)
I'm not sure "Thank You" is the right title, especially if you do decide to explore other emotions/feelings. Also, if you want to move away from a literal interpretation of this as Siamese twins, I think you need to get rid of the blood and bandages. Then, you would have a subtler hint at Siamese twins that lends itself to a metaphorical interpretation. That make sense?
Trev
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