I think this is very good. Just a couple of thoughts to consider:
I'm grammatically lost when it comes to the sentence beginning "Did those who lived here."
I don't like ending lines on "put" and "so", and I can't see why you'd go with such awkward enjambments in a free verse poem where you could just as easily push them to the next line.
Finally, I'd consider losing the last two lines.
|