Hey All,
I have been in the hospital for a couple days and did not realize this had gotten new comments....
Hi Richard,
Thanks for the reassurance that I've improved the piece. As always, I will give your suggestions a mulling, and probably, as usual, I will eventually either use them as given or let them prod me toward changes. In regard to eliminating the stanza you mention: I know the examples of things loved by me as a child seem bland, and of course there were many other things I was attracted to besides those, but I was pretty much a poor shy kid with little life experience and the dull sounding things mentioned are accurately if not entertainingly described. I'll ponder ways of making that stanza more resonant while staying authentic.
Hi David,
Thanks for the comment and the encouragement. Simon convinced me to straighten up some of my syntax but I resisted somewhat in keeping the awkward "where were ones once..." that you cite as a bumpy spot. I'll give it a look.
Hi Jan,
Thanks much for the comment. I'm very glad you liked the new version. I will try not to change it much if I do make changes, because I would hate to change your impression of it. Simon pushed me toward showing why books were important to me which I try to do now in the newer opening lines. Your comment further convinces me of the value of his advice,
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