Hmm, "excuseful" ain't bad, though I think I'd prefer "full of excuse" (the singular "excuse" would give it an eccentric quality, I think).
Trev
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard G
Hi Glenn,
This is charming.
Thanks. And I've taken another look at the rhymes/rhythm.
Hi Nick,
No complaints.
Appreciated.
Hi Mark.
A children's poem for adults.
That was the idea, yes.
I wonder if you could lean into that and tweak the few couplets where the rhythm doesn't quite land with a splash.
I've had a lean (thanks) but shame on you for the splash.
Hi Trevor.
I think the simpler "Puddles" would work better and give you a greater impact
You may be right. Testing it now, thanks.
I love "ankling" in particular, by the way. Lovely, creative use of language.
Well, let's see how you feel about 'excuseful'.
Hi Michael.
The only problem I had was the Dr. Foster stanza - I was clueless and would drop it - but that may be me, displaying my age and ignorance.
Or that the source material hasn't travelled far from these shores.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor...(nursery_rhyme)
Thanks all.
Revision posted.
RG. |