[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Jayne,

Thanks for coming back with more ideas. I changed "thing" to "things." I think either could work though creating slight differences to the thoughts presented, but I'll go with "things" because it reads better grammatically.

Now, about your other suggestion for changes to S2 which reads:

And, here, I browsed, and, there, I paused,
but journeyed then within my head
to choose instead to give a look
to time now gone, and think then of
what thing I loved the most when young:

You seem to be saying that the use of "then" is not syntactically parallel but it looks to me like it is. The verb tense change between "journeyed" and "think" is all that I see as a difference. I do see that "then" is accented in one instance and is unaccented in the other. And of course there's the double use of "then" that you suggest could be avoided. The real issue for me is we've run up against one of my darlings and that is the play between the "of" enjambing toward the following line's "loved." I'll have to keep thinking whether I want to make a change.

Hi Richard,

Thanks for staying with this. I think I agree with you, but I'm waiting for more inspiration. And thanks for the well-er wish. I'm doing great.