Hi, Richard—
Thanks very much for the detailed, thorough critique of my story. It was very useful, especially in helping me to streamline the opening and get into the events more quickly. I will go through it again in a day or two with an eye to minimizing repetitions.
I don’t think I effectively made my point about neighbors’ responsibilities to each other. Paul takes on the task of being a neighbor to Mr. Chester, but when he discovers the sacrifice that Mr. Chester made in being a neighbor to his family, he is deeply conflicted. Paul knows that Mr. Chester saved his sister’s life, but at the price of abandoning Paul and possibly hastening John Mortenson’s death. The story is meant to show that even when we perform the kindest acts with the most altruistic of motives, we can also cause harm by entangling our lives with others’. It is possible that by returning to Mr. Chester’s life and forcing him to consider the effects of his actions, Paul caused stress that precipitated Mr. Chester’s sudden decline. I wanted the reader to appreciate the messiness of involvement in the lives of other people and our inability to know with certainty what the effects of our most well-meant involvement might be.
I appreciate your generosity and help in polishing this piece.
Glenn
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