Hi Trevor,
It feels like an effective description of the phenomenon, but - and this is probably just me being squeamish - does it feel like a suitable subject for a poem? It depends what sort of poem you want to write, I suppose, so it must be suitable. And yet I found it a difficult read. This is poetry red in tooth and claw. Maybe I'm just too much of a moon in June gey. Mea culpa.
So I'm not your ideal reader - here, at least - but I thought you might find my take of some value, even if only a negative one.
Cheers
David
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