Hi, Matt—
Thanks very much for your thorough and insightful analysis. Your suggestions on tightening and streamlining the text are extremely helpful and I will use many of them. It is surprising to me how when a reader points out a redundant, superfluous, or irrelevant use of language, my response is almost always, “Well, of course! Why didn’t I see that before?”
I’m glad you enjoyed the story and appreciate your generous and useful help.
Glenn
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