[James Brancheau]

I’m still absorbing this, but I think it’s excellent, rich with gorgeously written moments, including the emotionally charged ending. I’m thinking that this is a child observing his surroundings during a time of conflict—perhaps a civil war (?) in an African country. In the end, his father is going off to fight and I envision the child chasing after him behind a tank that is whipping up dust from the road. I thought that the image of the tsetse flies very fitting as they are known for the transmission of diseases. I thought of the passing down of war, the roots of war, from one generation to the next (being infected), especially as the child is depicted as drawing what he observes—how he is impressionable, as children are. Not to mention the cloud of ideas of what to draw swirling around in his head. It’s terrific.

Though God knows I may be wrong about something above, I’m significantly less confident about how I see the coloring book. But what I love about it, intended or not, is that it seems to me that he is drawing over images that are supposed to be colored in. Blurred/changing borders, reality vs the ideal/the neat, etc., all of this comes to mind. Again, I don’t know if this was intended, but boy do I love this idea for this situation. To the point of extreme jealousy, haha.

I’m very fond of “big as the mouth of a deflated soccer ball,” “dragging their lineage of shadows,” “pole men” (wow, brutally haunting), “dirt show fomenters,” “heaven hums” and that cloud of tsetse flies, among other moments.

It’s probably just me, but I’m a little confused about “snap shut.” And I’m wondering if something like “The crayons he chooses are the shades of body fluids” (or something less rhymey) might make a bit more sense, as certainly not all of the crayons are those colors. Finally, “mechanized” for “mechanical” ?? (Or maybe not…) Beautiful, intricate poem, Alex.