Hi, Jan! Sorry to be so late to the party. I've been circling this and enjoying your revision process.
Minor punctuational suggestions here (although I know you take a more minimalist approach to line-end punctuation and Oxford commas than I do):
What aspect will the goddess wear
the maiden, mother or the crone
inside the bleakness of despair.
—>
What aspect will the goddess wear —
the maiden, mother, or the crone—
inside the bleakness of despair?
I really love that bit, BTW, and what leads into it.
I like the new "drone" rhyme, too, although it took me two readings to figure out that it was the flies' sound, not a downed military drone that the flies had landed on. Maybe that's okay, though.
Since the repetends are so varied (although one more than the other), the double appearance of "bone" stands out a bit, but maybe that's okay, too.
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