Hello, Max,
This packs a serious emotional charge. It's also tightly compressed, so it takes some careful unpacking. I'm particularly struck by the image of “the smudge / mirrored so sharply in the unclean blade” at the start—does that become “his own unclean reflection” at the end? It’s a powerful through-line if so.
And then there’s “the hurt he’s done” in the final line. I wonder whether it might help to clarify that slightly. Is it hurt he’s caused others—“his sons, / his wife, or anyone he’s loved”—or is it more about self-inflicted pain? Or a combination of both? Something like “the hurt he takes” or “the hurt he gives” might steer it a little more clearly, depending on your intent.
Either way, this is a powerful, evocative poem—well worth the close read.
Cheers,
…Alex
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