Thread: Liminal Wings
View Single Post
  #4  
Unread 04-08-2025, 10:37 AM
Max Goodman Max Goodman is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
Posts: 2,391
Default

This is sonically lush, a pleasure to the ear, and full of striking thoughts (some of them noted below).

Despite all the color words, there are few strong visual images. Most of the description remains abstract. That the arches are shaped by dreams, for instance, is a lovely thought, but doesn't show me the arches.

Action, too, is described abstractly. I guess that the trials the girl spawns (L4) are fights over birdseed she distributes. I don't have a lot of confidence that I'm guessing correctly.

At the end, I wonder how the girl has learned what she's learned about souls. It's another lovely thought; it would mean more to me if I felt the poem had shown me what she's experienced, so I, in the final line, learn as she has.

FWIW.
Reply With Quote