Trevor -
This was a good effort and the presentation of elk in battle is an effective metaphor for life in general.
A few things:
" sick desire " - consider using something more forceful, like "inborn urge" or "primal drive". "Sick desire" sounds like a trivial moral judgement.
Consider dropping " - a sore recollection - " and "bold"
Is there some way to rearrange the close so the "him" isn't confusing?
JB
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