Hi, Sam!
I was puzzled by the emphasis on size. The sonnet calls the grackles "larger cousins" of the mourning doves, who are described as "Tiny," but aren't they more or less the same size?
From Wikipedia:
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Adult common grackles measure from 28 to 34 cm (11 to 13 in) in length, span 36–46 cm (14–18 in) across the wings, and weigh 74–142 g (2.6–5.0 oz).
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The mourning dove is a medium-sized, slender dove approximately 31 cm (12 in) in length. Mourning doves weigh 112–170 g (4.0–6.0 oz), usually closer to 128 g (4.5 oz).[26] The mourning dove has a wingspan of 37–45 cm.
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The common grackle entry in Wikipedia does mention that there are larger species of grackles, so maybe the ones in your neck of the woods are a larger species?
I would suggest keeping the focus on the fact that the narrator has sometimes seen larger groups of mourning doves, without mentioning where. The memory of Oahu might be strictly accurate reportage, but it highjacks my attention and flies it from the supermarket parking lot to Hawaii. I'm easily distracted and need to stay in the parking lot, if you want me to continue pondering ornithology instead of tropical paradises.